Five Ways to Boost Your Confidence
It's easy to get down on yourself when things don't go according to your plan. Here are a few quick tips on how to give yourself a confidence boost so you can continue to show up for yourself and your goals:
1) Write a BADASS List.
You can see my video here, but here’s what you should include:
What are your proudest accomplishments?
What have you done that no one else in your family or friend group has done?
What makes you unique?
What do you wish people were saying about you?
What’s something no one knows about you?
Answer these questions and put them on a list either on your phone, on a piece of paper taped to your bathroom mirror or somewhere else that you will see it and be able to read it every day. This list will help enforce all your past awesomeness so that you can have confidence in your future endeavors.
2) Poll your friends on what they think are your greatest strengths
What do your friends think of you? Probably that you’re pretty damn amazing since they’re friends with you. Most people don’t stay friends with shitty people. I will tell you, this is a tough thing to do because it makes us vulnerable. We can’t control the answers and even if we think we know how people will respond, there’s no real knowing until they send it to you.
Here’s the script I used:
“Hey, I’m working on a project and my coach wanted me to ask a few questions to my friends and family. Would you mind answering a few questions? It would really help me a lot!
What is something I’m known for? When you think of me, what is it you see me doing or being? (Other than your daughter/friend/wife/sister)
What is one thing that you would choose to extract from me and put into your life? Something I do or have accomplished or think - what would you unplug from me and plug into your life or operational process?”
I sent this to a few people who’s opinion I really cared about. That’s the second trick - you have to actually care about how these people perceive you. If you don’t care, why would it matter how they perceive you. You don’t want a stranger’s opinion. You shouldn’t value a stranger’s opinion. Not for this exercise.
3) Create something new. Suck at it. Refine it. It's just a starting point.
Embrace the suck. Everyone sucks at something new. Be okay with sucking at first. Picture it as a benchmark or creating the “before” frame in your goal’s before and after comparison.
It is very rare that anyone is an expert right out of the gate. At anything.
4) Practice Positive Affirmations and Positive Self-Talk
If you’re used to saying to yourself “I’m so stupid” or “wow, that was dumb of me” then STOP!
You are hardwiring your brain to think poorly of you. Why would you invest time or energy into something you don’t even like? You have to love yourself first. Even if you feel weird or it makes you uncomfortable, tell yourself you “I love you, you’re amazing, and you can accomplish anything. Literally anything” And then, the trick is, believe yourself!
I’m pretty sure none of your friends from #2 above said they think your strength is that you’re a great liar!
Be good to yourself.
5) Visualize yourself accomplishing your goals
Don’t just visualize your dream job, picture yourself doing that job.
If you want to be a motivational speaker, draw a picture of yourself on stage, don’t just wish for it. Don’t just visualize a piece of art, see yourself creating that piece of art.
There’s a small difference, but it makes a big impact.
The more you see yourself accomplishing your dream, the easier it is for your brain to put together all the pieces that make that dream a reality.
Use Your Newfound Confidence to Chase the Dreams in Your Heart
Don’t for one second forget that you have pulled yourself from the ashes of your former self many times before.
Change and growth are challenging. If they weren’t it would be too easy to slip back into what once was. The change and growth morphs you into someone who can no longer fit the mold of the old you.
Don’t cry over your inability to fit your square peg self into the circular hole of the old you.